My Father In Law
My sister in law forwarded me an email interchange she'd had with a friend. I thought she did a really fine job of describing my dear Father-in-Law. I got her permission to share it with you now:
When my dad got cancer in 1991 he did not take the time off to recover as instructed. On the way to a followup appointment 6 weeks after surgery, he fell asleep at the wheel with the car on cruise going 76 miles an hour. He had a horrific single car wreck over a high railroad embankment (in his new car of 2 weeks that "happened" to have the first airbag he had ever owned). Countless bones were broken (all seat belt related as the seat belt and air bag saved him) ribs, pelvis right foot (from stomping on the brake), punctured lung (which the re inflated at the scene without pain killers and say he never even groaned (my daddy was a tail gunner in a B24 in World War 2 and the strongest man I have ever known).
He spent weeks in ICU and rehab and recovered fully. They released a different man from that hospital than the one who arrived by ambulance and I can happily tell you that the man my father was before the cancer and wreck was and is the most honest, ethical hard working and fair I have ever known, but in addition, the man they released became the most loving, demonstrative, affirming, affectionate, emotionally supportive father any child (adult or not) could ever wish for. and although I didn't think it was possible to ever respect and love him more than I did, I do.
At times I have tried to let him know how much, but since his cancer has returned, I hope I am doing even better at it. We talk about it regularly and I think that he knows I cannot fathom a world without him in it (don't ever want to experience that!) and that he has always been my rock, and in the last 10 years he has been my mountain. Having my mother and father to come home to after an awful divorce has been a gift from god and healed me in ways i can never describe. Shoot, i didn't feel any need to date because i had my dad who i love respect and trust to rely and lean on... what man could measure up to that??
So we are going to beat this cancer and get his scores back down because when I need to be, I can be a quite formidable (haven't been so in a few years, but it is coming back to me) force of nature and because I am actually finding people like you who know what i don't and are showing me the way...thank you.
But, just in case my dad hasn't realized today how much I love him, I am going to forward him my response to you. He is truly my hero and, one of the finest members of (as Tom Brokaw said) the greatest generation.
Well said, Cile.
When my dad got cancer in 1991 he did not take the time off to recover as instructed. On the way to a followup appointment 6 weeks after surgery, he fell asleep at the wheel with the car on cruise going 76 miles an hour. He had a horrific single car wreck over a high railroad embankment (in his new car of 2 weeks that "happened" to have the first airbag he had ever owned). Countless bones were broken (all seat belt related as the seat belt and air bag saved him) ribs, pelvis right foot (from stomping on the brake), punctured lung (which the re inflated at the scene without pain killers and say he never even groaned (my daddy was a tail gunner in a B24 in World War 2 and the strongest man I have ever known).
He spent weeks in ICU and rehab and recovered fully. They released a different man from that hospital than the one who arrived by ambulance and I can happily tell you that the man my father was before the cancer and wreck was and is the most honest, ethical hard working and fair I have ever known, but in addition, the man they released became the most loving, demonstrative, affirming, affectionate, emotionally supportive father any child (adult or not) could ever wish for. and although I didn't think it was possible to ever respect and love him more than I did, I do.
At times I have tried to let him know how much, but since his cancer has returned, I hope I am doing even better at it. We talk about it regularly and I think that he knows I cannot fathom a world without him in it (don't ever want to experience that!) and that he has always been my rock, and in the last 10 years he has been my mountain. Having my mother and father to come home to after an awful divorce has been a gift from god and healed me in ways i can never describe. Shoot, i didn't feel any need to date because i had my dad who i love respect and trust to rely and lean on... what man could measure up to that??
So we are going to beat this cancer and get his scores back down because when I need to be, I can be a quite formidable (haven't been so in a few years, but it is coming back to me) force of nature and because I am actually finding people like you who know what i don't and are showing me the way...thank you.
But, just in case my dad hasn't realized today how much I love him, I am going to forward him my response to you. He is truly my hero and, one of the finest members of (as Tom Brokaw said) the greatest generation.
Well said, Cile.
posted by Catherine Banks at 11:23 AM
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